Daddy Was a Roofing Man

 

My daddy was a roofing man. “He had a good Christian raising and an eighth grade education,” just like Billy Joe Shaver and was only married once. And he could walk across a church roof with an 8 X 12 pitch which is far better than what the Secret service has been trained to do. 

 

I warned you a couple days ago about the upcoming conspiracy theories which even now are beginning to come about. When you listen to the government you will see an apt demonstration of hiding in plain sight, or in the situation on Trump, hiding inside while the assassin climbs to the roof. So there he was, Lee Harvey II, sniping across that precarious slanted roof while the Secret Service “Secreted” themselves in their safe room and talked into their sleeves. I crappith thee NOT!

 

I do know the ethnic origins of the agents involved. Puerto Rican. I deduced this from what they were saying when asked how they missed a snotty-nosed kid sprawling on a roof with a gun and to the man (or woman) answered, “Not my job, man!” Apparently the local traffic cops were supposed to handle the crowds. You know, voters, fans, Chinese spies with a liberal sprinkling Cartel just in case Q Adherents needed to get their buzz on.  

 

I’ve always heard of “ducking a bullet” but I never saw it until Trump swiveled out of the way of that shot that day. And don’t you just love the new, politically correct Secret Service? I just wish I could get that many women to jump on me. Next thing the Democrats will try to say is he touched one of them “inappropriately.” If they piled on me like that you’d think I’d felt one of them up . . . and you’d be right!

 

Ok, let’s get serious here. This is the biggest screw up since Lincoln’s guard went across the street for a whiskey during “Our American Cousin!” And I’ve noticed that governmental mis-steps are not exactly rare, Good case in point was the Tennessee school ma’arm who galavanted across the USA with his fifteen year old student only to be apprehended by an old hippy and local sheriff in California when he was outside a tourist cabin taking a piss on a tree. The FBI talking to their sleeves the whole time. Look it up! 

 

How in the hell could a bunch of screwups like this run anything? Biden appointed the current director of the secret service. Perplexing. She looked a bit old for him. He usually likes them shorter. So therefore one can only assume the ineptitude of the government extends through its agents and assigns. 

 

Now I’m gonna come back to my original point. I warned you about conspiracy theories. That refers to unproven ideas. Secret Service having Do-Nuts in a room just below an assassin is not a theory! That happened! You’d think they could’ve just shot up through the ceiling or something. I know they had to have heard the shots. They got all those ear buds you and I paid for.

 

Oh for the good ole days;

 

ROADRUNNER THIS IS COYOTE. DID WE JUST HEAR A SHOT?

 

THATS AFFIRMATIVE ROADRUNNER. IT APPEARS TO BE COMING FROM THE ROOF JUST ABOVE YOU.

 

THAT’S A ROGER COYOTE. THAT ROOF HAS BEEN ASSIGNED THE GIRL SCOUTS OF AMERICA. NOT UNDER OUR JURISDICTION. IF WE INTERFERE IT COULD LEAD TO CHARGES OF GENDER-FRACTION. 

 

VERY TRUE ROADRUNNER. THEY NEED TO BRING IN A NEGOTIATOR TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOOTER’S MOTIVES AND DE-ESCALATE THE SITUATION. 

 

ONE MOMENT COYOTE. THERE APPEARS TO BE SOMEONE APPROACHING THE SHOOTER WITH SOMETHING IN HIS HAND. OH! GGOOD LORD! SHOOTER DOWN! COYOTE! SHOOTER DOWN! WE’RE GONNA NEED MEDICS. THE MAN KNOCKED THE SHOOTER IN THE HEAD WITH A ROOFING HATCHET. 

 

I WAS NEVER HERE COYOTE!

 

Daddy was a roofing man.