The Lone Nut

The Lone Nut is a creature predominant in the American culture. Whenever there is an event that is so outlandish, so nonsensical that the “average Joe” cannot get his mind around it there is an ample supply of conspiracy theorists who will supply any manner of answers for the inquiring minds. 

When Kennedy was shot there was obviously three shots fired from a sixth story building by a guy whose estranged wife wouldn’t give him any nooky the night before. He left what little cash he had on the night stand with his wedding ring on top of it and figured he owed himself a president. The set up? Dumb luck. Just like that small time pimp who just so happened to be at the Western Union sending $25 to one of his girls when he noticed activity and fired the shot heard around the world. Oh, and oh yeah, there ain’t no Jews in the Mafia. He’d just started work at the depository and Dallas was abuzz with the advent of a presidential motorcade through downtown. All this stuff you hear about the path of the motorcade being “leaked” was white noise. Where the hell do you think those thousands of people came from lining the streets all the way from Love Field to Dealy Plaza? Then there was the count of the shots. That’s where you get all the ideas of multiple shooters. When you fire a deer rifle between a bunch of downtown buildings you don’t get “pop pop,” you get “booma booma!” And there are all your so-called “witnesses” pointing every which way and Mark Lane writing a book. 

Jackie’s grandfather put the scope on Oswald’s rifle. He “bore sighted” it and told Oswald that he needed to go to the range to complete adjusting the sight to account for the discrepancies that always arise when mounting a scope. Oswald did not! Consequently his first shot missed, hitting the street behind the Limo. Back and to the left? Low and to the right! The resulting spray of asphalt resulting from this bullet actually wounded James Tague who was standing curbside in a direct line from Oswald past the presidential limo. Fact! Oswald  had been in the Marines. Not the Air Force! He had passed training. He knew he had missed. He shifted from the telescopic sight to the iron sights on the rifle and fired again, this bullet striking Kennedy in the left shoulder, exiting his throat, and yes, continued to give Governor John Connally a rainy day. Kennedy did the movement of grabbing his throat which from Oswald’s vantage point could appear as a man adjusting his tie. Oswald could have considered that shot a miss, too. One more adjustment and that head came right off! 

I’ve been to Dealy Plaza. When you see TV shows where “experts” try to recreate Oswald’s shots but fail it appears that only Chris Kyle could have done it on a good day. Au Contrairé! Sixth floor. Well, there’s sixty feet. Add fifty yards or so to accommodate a retreating limo. I could have hit Kennedy with a sling shot!

What I just told you was the stark raving truth! But, and that’s a big butt, conspiracy theories are fun. Life can be boring. The human consciousness is hungry for the unexplained being explained. Jon Benet couldn’t have been killed by a pedophile who saw her dance at the mall. Had to be her dad. Elvis fabricated his death because The Beatles stole all his record sales and Nixon was not a crook. And Biden and Obama plotted to kill Trump. Yeah! A guy who can’t order a Big Mac got together with his handler who literally led him off a stage last week and talked a gunman into firing a rifle from a non secure position assuring him a life expectancy of approximately five seconds to secure the White House for whomEVER replaced the Republican nominee. God bless Ivanka Trump! If you believe that have I got a bridge for you and it’s on sale. Sale! Hell! Two for one!

The only thing for certain is Trump is going to be president, but we already know that!  I told you that months ago. Biden pulled all his ads off TV five minutes after he learned of the events in Pennsylvania. Even that dumb ass knows it’s over. Oh, and the religious right. Let us pray. I’m not talking about Our Mother of Perpetual Motion Catholic Church, I’m referring to The Westboro Baptist Church and Hamburger bar. 

And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast. 

Trump got hit in the ear. Looked pretty bad to me. Could be The Antichrist! Call the Pope! See how this works? And I guarantee you some Jack a Lope will run with it. People will burn anything in their crazy minds. Step back, take a breath, and know that you and I have no control over these things. Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. And just wait. An army of so-called “experts” will come out of the woodwork tearing down everything I’ve said in this article. Where is Lee Harvey Oswald when we need

Behold the WingNuts