Things Go Better With Coke

 Some years ago, in the 1900’s, the Coca Cola company got the idea that their signature drink needed an update. Never mind that Aborigines in Australia were drinking it, the powers that be decided that somehow messing with a tried-and-true recipe might be the next big thing. The last time the changed the formula was when removed cocaine from the bottles. I remember when driving long distances could be a lot brighter with a six-ounce Coke.

 

I don’t know if it had anything to do with it but long about this time The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints bought a huge share of Coca Cola stock and not so surprisingly New Coke was Temple Worthy. No caffeine, lighter color, reduced fizz and flat sales. Consequently “Classic Coke” was introduced and if you’re  a Boomer you know it just ain’t the same.

 

This is revamping a product. Kamala Harris is a product. She’s been repackaged as younger, sweeter, more vibrant and just full of new and dynamic ideas on how to lead the “Z” generation down the Yellow Brick Road to the Promised Land. Just how many bottles of “New Kamala” will sell because she doesn’t taste anything like the original brand that put every Mexican she ran across in jail. Her last venture to the poles was her primaries where she got an astounding run until the money run out. She has been a Senator, a District Attorney and a giggling wonder for her professional career. So, maybe a little push and she can be a contender.

 

The Republicans have now inherited the old man on the block as Biden said, “Bye then” and left for greener pastures in his declining years. Harris is fifty-nine years old but as much as her handlers would like us to believe she’s a filly she’s approaching “Old Gray Nag” status.

 

Currently she’s being impeached for leaving the gate opened down at the border while handing Biden his Depends, telling us they were place mats. But she is everywhere! Charging into the future, championing everything from abortion to marijuana in 7/11’s. And everything is Trump’s fault. Never mind Biden and associates have been running the company for the last three and a half years, the specter of The Donald hung vicariously over Washington thwarting their efforts to get El Presidenté up those difficult stairs on Air Force One.

 

But to hell with all that, New Kamala is a gonna make everything better. “Everything’s better with New Kamala, everything’s better with dope!”

 

Now let’s get serious. Are any of you out there seriously considering voting for this snarky, giggling party girl from California? If you are, do I have a bridge for you. Big one! Overlooking a bay on the West Coast, view of Alcatraz, and everybody there is as stupid as you are! From the state that gave us AIDS! And how do you throw homeless people in the street when they’re already in the street? Asking for a friend.

 

Our only hope is they take New Kamala off the market before she catches on. The Z’s will smoke anything, and The Joker is anything. Anything the American People do not need. We’ve been there, done that. The masks are fresh from our faces and the Democrats are still trying to sell us more moonshine. Kamala is better than New Coke. It came in just one flavor. Harris comes in chocolate, mocha, mellow, yellow, light, bright, and damn near white! Does she have a chance? Weeeeellllll . . . have we seen dementia victims take the oath lately? Ask not what your country . . . and, uh well, you know the rest.