You’re a Daisy if You Do

 

 

 

With all the hub-bub about tariff’s simple solutions elude the high-minded economists. Trump is looking for a shut off valve to stem the gang rape of America. I was reminded of the American embargo of the nineteenth century. For inquisitive minds an embargo shuts off shipping basically. “Don’t come ‘round here no mo’!” That pretty well sums it up. Cuba is currently under an embargo. No more cigars. I have to get my Havanas via San Salvador. But embargo has given way to the more entertaining tariffs. Well, with the on again off again implementing of the method might I make a suggestion?

You just think Trump knows how to tariff. China, the “Bricks” and Latinos got it all figured out. I like to call it the Chink-Wop-Spic coalition. The Chinese make all the iPhones! Don’t correct me, you know it’s true. All you Woke folks texting your anger over child labor on your iPhones. Give me a break! I think the only place that doesn’t export is Africa. They have to eat anything they can find over there. Anyway, where was I?

Practically every country has a tariff. It’s standard practice. And I agree to a point. You have to dance with the one who brung you. When your French wine is in direct competition with California wine you really do have to level the vineyard, especially since California wines tastes better. So . . . tariff a little even up. Ok! Dude! Ten percent is “even up.” Two hundred percent is a cash cow! And that is a gang rape. And Trump is a simple old boy from New York City. He applies the Navy’s definition of rape applied in a court martial. Any penetration, no matter how slight, constitutes the act! So he just spreads the love.

Do here’s the fix. The Lord told us to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And this fits all situations. From a business deal to a dinner party. So! Some third world, broke dick nation thinks a two-hundred percent  tariff is fair, reciprocate! Two hundred percent on their coconuts! Bada Bing Bada Boom! You want it lower? Show us your love. Because I’ll swear ‘fore God and five other old white men, we can grow coconuts in the Rio Grandè Valley. American Tequila? Ask Ron White. You are not going to make any money because we will balance your tariffs with our tariffs. And, in the words of the prophet, Steve Jobs, our stuff is better. We make better stuff! Chinese iPhones? I can’t wait for the Tesla Phone. Ah So Chinky Baby! Because we’re America!  Wanna play spin the bottle? You’re a daisy if you do!

Make America Great Again and make all the rest our bitches. I oughta be President!



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