If a Tree Fell in the Woods . . .

 

 

Social media has a way of exemplifying the sublime or at least spreading the slime around. There’s an old question: If a tree fell in the woods and nobody was there to hear it, would there be a sound? Why HELL yeah! If it were on social media. The public on-ramp for anything. A beer fart can hold the same attention as the discovery of the Arc of the Covenant. Where Bubba can debate with Jordan Peterson. No filter on the philosophy. Even some kid saying 🐂 💩 five times in a row gets center stage. And add it a forbidden word? Shut the  FRONT DOOR!

Now we all know what we’re talking about. That word, only licensed to select members of society currently seeking reparations for being black! A word so forbidden that it was replaced by a single letter for the longest time and only lately has been expanded to “N with a hard ‘R” as opposed to a short “R” which in and of itself is a racial slur because everyone knows “N’s” with a hard “R” have long “D’s!”

So a lady in a park referred to a little boy as an “N” with a hard “R.” Now, I wouldn’t know if his “R” was hard or not, but his fingers sure were because he was rifling her purse at the time. It just so happened that another “N” word was there, they frequent parks and had his Obama Phone at the ready. And he challenged said woman, who happened to be paler than he on her choice of the vernacular. Whereupon she addressed him as a “N” word several times.

This ended up on social media and invited debate from the entire WIFI community and all the ships at sea. During this melee someone set up a GoFundMe and the National Association for the Advancement of Cracker People promptly dropped six hundred grand in the little lady’s purse. (Could someone get me her phone number?) Sides were chosen, lines were drawn, World War III was temporary postponed, and it was even rumored that Pope Francis sat up in his box and re-baptized the College of Cardinals assembled to elect his successor, can I get an “Amen?” All because a pretty blonde jacked up a thieving “N” word in a park.

For all of you who hang on the internet for directions to your life the Chinese are on the way, and yes, they all do look alike. For the rest of you, speak your mind because we’ll all be dead in a hundred years or so and Hell ain’t half full!