110 in the Shade
But! When a lady with such a problem goes to a treatment center, checks in, begins to hallucinate . . . you don’t just shove her out into a one hundred and seven degree parking lot in Vegas! The doctor in charge said, “She exhibited ‘Drug seeking behavior.” But of course she did! That’s what alcoholic’s on the verge of Delirium Tremens do! They seek anything that it takes to keep the demons away. The lady was fifty! Now, I don’t know how long ago her mother died, but she took it hard and took up drinking after that. So we can assume she’d been at it for a full minute. But that’s irrelevant. Treatment Center? The biggest scam in medical practice is the treatment center. You get admitted, if you have insurance. They diagnose you.
Diagnosis: Patient will take anything that makes her head spin but has good insurance.
Insurance says that they’re gonna pay for this Tom Foolery for, oh say, six months. So they put patient in a room, dry her out, and some “therapist” drops by once or twice a week asking if she loved her mother. During this time she catches religion. She sits there in the day room, Jonesing for a drink, telling her therapist anything they wanna hear, and a prognosis develops.
Prognosis: Patient found Jesus and is cured!
Every drunk who ever woke up in rehab found Jesus somewhere in the ward. Hallucinating demons’ll do that to ya. Not saying that faith in Christ isn’t important but ain’t it uncanny that He invariably shows up at or near the time the insurance runs out?
So the patient goes home with her bright shiny faith and ends up dead in some Las Vegas parking lot, a chicken fried steak! Hallelujah! All because doctors didn’t know Jesus. They worship at the temple of The Blessed Bank of America.
The family was incensed! I want you to sit down. Listen. I’m a gonna tell you about the shaved ape. Now we know the lady’s mother died. We don’t know when, but she took it hard. We’ve all been there. She turned to drinking. Did she turn to it or did she just ramp up a habit that had been there all along? By age fifty the family had been through it. Was that her first stay at rehab? I don’t think so. The family wasn’t looking for a cure so much as a break. Maybe six months. When she was showed the door why weren’t they there to pick her up? Because they’d picked her up so many times before. Being alcoholic she was most likely dehydrated. The treatment center didn’t pick up on that? So she stumbles around an asphalt parking lot and finally lays down. Laying down feels good when you are a drunk. She closes her eyes and shortly, extra crispy. They find her. Wasn’t hard. She was on security footage. The police contact the family. They are aghast. They say things like, “She’s in a better place now.” Later, after the police have left they say, “You can’t blame us.” Sometime after the funeral they get together. They begin to ask questions, and they should. They ask why she wasn’t admitted for at least a night? You must consider her appearance at the time of admission. The doctor took one look at her and showed her the door. But the “concerned” family isn’t thinking about that. The Treatment Center has malpractice insurance, and they have needs. So they give her soul to Jesus and her case to the Las Vegas Justice Court. Praise da Lawd! Aren’t humans wonderful? Jesus had to get up on that cross just to disinfect us. Think about that. Take all the time you need. I’ll wait.
When I was eight years old I got an earache. My dad took me down to Bistineau Bijou in Louisiana, where a Voodoo woman blew cigar smoke in my ear. I’m just glad I didn’t have hemorrhoids! But that was better than the heat therapy Mrs Gallia got from Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center! Yeah, I really just called you out! So sue me!
Back to my original question. When are you people gonna stop listening to these sawbones? Dr Fauci? Give me a break! “Greatest virus in history. It’s the end of the world!” But just wash your hands and everything’s gonna be OK! Oh, and by the way, don’t send the kids to school no more. Let them be educated by a bunch of shut-in day drinkers. And you wonder why grandpa shot all the grandkids. And don’t forget your mask!
Most advances tend to come from some hard-headed prick who didn’t listen to doctors, lawyers, or Indian Chiefs. The Lear Jet, car radios . . . PEANUT BUTTER for God’s sake! Not some think tank at Yale. Harvard didn’t invent the Apple Computer. A bare-foot college dropout did. So stop it.
I understand that poor soul they found dead in Vegas. When I was in the Wellington I heard screaming coming from a ward down the hall. I asked a buddy what it was and he told me that it was the “DT bunch fighting withdrawals.” And it suddenly dawned on me! I got away with it! If not for a case of COVID pneumonia I’d have been down there at the end of that hall auditioning with all the other future movie stars. I haven’t had a drink since then. In her youth she was such a pretty lady. I wish I’d known her back then but by the grace of God, go I!
Comments
Post a Comment