You Can’t Fix Stupid

 


 

You can’t fix stupid. That is a well-known line from the Prophet Ron White. If you want to reach people, make a point, or dispel criticism, I’ve found that humor is a good answer.

I have many bits and pieces that drift through my head on a daily basis. I try to remember them for later but the moment a new one pops up, poof, plan A is gone. I try to look on the funny side of life, which seeing that I have an endless source of material with the Democrats, ain’t

Also, social media yields tidbits. Can you believe the crap that is taken as gospel by otherwise sane people? Health cures are great. Here, have a cup of piss and let’s talk about your diabetes. See?! You thought I was kidding. And don’t take that blood pressure medicine. 200 over 95 is good for you. And ED! Give me a break. Try switching to a younger girl. Take three and call me in the morning. If things don’t work out, try celibacy grandpa. 

But there are supposedly legitimate items out there. Pandemic anyone? We knew that was a scam! C’mon! You know I’m right. It was just one hell of a day off. Cloth mask to keep out a virus! When I was a boy we found this girl who was real good at multiple riders. Later that evening we ran across a guy who told us she was eat up with the Clap. We didn’t have the eight dollars needed to see the local sawbones so what could we do? He told us to pour gasoline down there. Whoopie doozie! If it don’t burn it ain’t working. Guess it did because none of us caught the clap.

Just yesterday I tried to join Truth Social. I mean, I’m a conservative Republican, right? So, I pull it up and fill out the form and it comes back that I’m a banned account. A banned account? So I start over and same thing. Nada! After another try and a phone call we found the problem. In my phone number there are three sequential 6’s. Like ###-###-666#. Now I’m very aware that Donald Trump runs Truth Social. That’s why I wanted an account there. Sell a few articles, but 666 . . . BANNED! So, I could only deduce that Donald J Trump, president of these here You-Nited states . . . think I’m the Devil! I mean I’m two bubbles short of plumb but THE DEVIL?

I can’t hold a candle to politicians. A black candle. Separation of church and state. Oh, I hear ya. Let me tell you; there is no separation between the church house, state house, and whore house! Look at the Congress. The Squad! The freaking SQUAD? Touring the country like the Beatles. Omar was the religious nut and AOC was the, uh, barfly? And the Democrats flocked to them like a bunch of seals clapping their flippers for a fish.

I pulled away from Facebook, or META, or whatever they call themselves now. I’m not gonna get into any MORE trouble, just let me say if you wanna get booted quick just type in the words “eight-year-old girl.” FaceMETA has an algorithm for that. If you just GOTTA see a flock of questionable pictures of underage girls, try Facebook’s sister site, Instagram. Non-stop Shirley Temple style and not a word of English in the lot of them. I was greatly offended. Stopped looking after thirty or so. Just gathering evidence don’t you know.

I just heard that Bill Gates is trying to reduce the population by creating purple rain in Colorado. You can’t make the stuff up folks. But you gotta admit it kinda makes sense. Colorado. . . purple rain! “I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain!” John Denver hung out in Colorado and ended up flying his plane into the ocean.

Oh, and the new Jesus. Or Mohammed, Buddha and Peter Popoff. Yeah! Some guy from Chicago. .  . SOUTH Chicago, surfaces in “The Holy Land” and proclaims himself the Prophet to end all prophets. He claims that his followers killed Pope Francis with their bad breath. Basically, he’s Muslim so I give you a dollar to a donut there’s an eight-year-old girl around there somewhere.

Just remember my three rules of life:


Money buys everything

People are no damn good

And if you nail two things together that have never been nailed together before, you’ll get rich

 

Or just go on American Idol and tell everybody to


 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don’t Stand So Close to Me

Image
    This is the Evil that has taken over our Texas School Systems. Texas has been facing a serious crisis regarding child sexual abuse in schools, with thousands of allegations against educators. Here are some key findings: 52,782 complaints were recorded against Texas educators between 2021 and 2024. 6,888 cases of sexual and violent misconduct by public school employees were reported, with 6,654 left unresolved. 44,349 educators were flagged as “do not hire” due to misconduct, yet enforcement actions remain inconsistent. 38,778 abuse cases were reported statewide, but no formal investigation was opened in response to any of them. Additionally, a report titled “State-Sponsored Child Abuse” revealed that 61% of misconduct reports were not investigated by the Texas Education Agency. Child sexual abuse in schools is a serious issue, and statistics reveal alarming trends: Prevalence: Studies indicate that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys experience child sexual abuse. Many cases go ...
Read more

Hell is not Hot Enough

Image
from: Kriss Odom 🚨*Graphic Content Warning  Wesley Davis has been charged with murder in the First Degree. No mother should have to hold her child as she is hooked up to machines that are tracking her last breaths. Ava Anne Marie Tabor was taken from this world. She didn’t lose her life, her life was taken from her, in the most vicious and cruel way.  Wesley Davis was watching Ava when she “wasn’t listening” as he stated, and he began to attack her. Yes you read that correctly. He lifted her frail 2 year old body up and threw her around the room for 30 minutes straight. Slamming her against walls, furniture, and anything else in sight. For 30 minutes she was brutally attacked by this animal. For 30 minutes she lived in pure pain and agony at the hands of this subhuman monster.  Ava’s body was covered in bruises, head to toe, her brain received so much trauma it bled on itself to a point that mimicked a massive stroke. Her brain died due to the amount of bleeding the trau...
Read more

Money For Nothing

Image
      Did you think MAGA would just go away? Did the carefully constructed articles and main stream news spots make you believe that LBTGQ was 85% of the population? Did you concern yourself about which pronoun is correct when addressing a child? Congratulations! You will not leave anything of lasting value when your family drops you off at the graveyard!   All hit records have a meteoric rise. “ Money For Nothing ” sprang out of nowhere and within a week my own sister asked me if I’d heard that song and I knew exactly which song she was talking about. With his bare feet and truncated guitar style, Mark Knopfler cemented a melody into the public consciousness that would make Mozart roll over in his grave if it weren’t so overcrowded. Now, decades later, my grandchildren have never heard the song.   So what makes some ideas, movements, or sometimes simple statements survive the test of time while others become difficult to recall in less than a generation? And i...
Read more