Iran off the Rails

 

 

Iran has gone too far for too long. Here we are again with a bunch of religious nuts threatening the end of the world but this time it will be the end of their world. The Muslim glory days are over. It ended when the Star of David first flew above Israel on Friday May 14, 1948. Immediately the Arab nations declared was. And the Jews delivered ass whippings time after time after time, and if that’s not the hand of God I’m not a white boy from Austin.

I saw a picture of Israel from space years ago. The development of the country was clearly defined by lush vegetation. You could see straight lines. All around it was the Arab countryside that has resembled Death Valley Days since June 8, 1632!

And why? Religious fundamentalism is the bane of humankind. Taking simple writings of some guy that may or may not have even existed and two are three years later try to convince a sixteen-year-old girl to throw her makeup away and wear a pup tent because the Holy This or That says all sexual assaults are the fault of women because they showed their ankles.

And this fundamentalism is no respecter of persons. From people starving to death while perfectly good meat is walking the streets, or tying a little black box to your forehead so God will get the message, all the way to ScrewAll Arkansas where a preacher French Kisses a rattlesnake because somewhere at the end of the Book Of Mark it reads, “Thou shall kiss rattlesnakes in Arkansas. When you start messing with people’s God Hole it’s like a box of chocolates, dates if you’re Muslim, you get what you get.

Iran jumped on Israel yet again be cause the “I Told Ya” Khamenei told them God said so. Now the population of Tehran is running lickity-split for the hills before Trump turns it into a Super Walmart. Y’all don’t look back. God’ll turn you into a salt lick if you see an ankle. I mean look at this. An entire nation facing annihilation based on the ramblings of a man who couldn’t read his own name! And the world is damn sick and tired of it!

Even other Arabs are fed up. Saudis just want to sell gasoline, Dubai wants to sell subdivisions and the Jews? They just want to sell everything they can find so long as it ain’t a McRib! Nobody’s gonna miss Iran. And after Trump gets through with them, they’ll all glow in the dark. The Middle East, the entire Middle East is about 4.9% of the world’s population. And somehow they have the other 95.1% hanging on their every word. Even atheists are digging through the Bible, The Qu’ran, The Book of Mormon, and The Karma Sutra trying to figure out what God’s gonna do next. Will he destroy us? Seems to me we’re doing a pretty good job of doing that all by ourselves.

The Sentinelese Tribe that lives on some sand bar in the Anbaman Islands of India don’t like strangers to put it mildly. The kill and eat all comers. But if you don’t mess with them they won’t mess with you. No “Mi Casa You Casa” down ‘round North Sentinel Island. They are black, of course, and their motto is, “WHITE FOLKS STFU!”

I like the Sentinelese people. I mean, I wouldn’t want one of them to marry my sister but I think they got it going on. The only outsider who came upon then and sailed away bribed the Chief with a watermelon. Hey! Don’t go all Democrat on me, I just read the news and report the facts.

But, back to Iran. Watch closely and Allah will tell the I Told Ya to STFU. Do not act so surprised! God told the Mormons that black folk are human after all in 1978, rescinding His telling Brigham Young to shoot all interracial couples. You can’t make this up, folks.

In conclusion, if we let this Iran thing get any bigger, we deserve what we get. I myself will watch eagerly and try to get a movie out of it. Then I’ll write a book and swear before God and five other old white men that I got it from the top of Pike’s Peak. Why didn’t you just listen to Jesus?