Beam Me Up Scotty

 

Rev Wilbur Witt

America is in one hell of a mess! Any time a New York, white, male, billionaire, real estate broker, with a drop dead gorgeous wife can’t be elected president while his opponent hides in a basement talking to himself, we have a problem! I want you guys to just count all those trigger words I just used there. 

And the Mexicans are not the problem! I’m sorry to be the first to tell you people, but not all Mexicans are in a cartel. First, let’s define the word “Mexican.” A Mexican is a citizen of the Republic of Mexico. Just like any other country. And Mexico sits on the southern end of the North American Continent. So, therefore, that would technically make them American, just like us, just like the Canadians, just like California! 

Do they have a tendency to come across the border and pick a few oranges? Who else is gonna pick them? You? There is Texas, Mexico, and TexMex. TexMex is a whole different situation. Back in my day it was obligatory for high school boys to go down to a place called “Boy’s Town.” Do I really have to tell you virgins why? Now, you’re not gonna believe this, but it was safe! There was a high possibility that if you became “over-indulged” the  Mexican police would deliver you back to the border. 

At some point is was understood that Mexico was the enemy. While little old ladies from San Diego and Laredo shopped at Mexican shops for a bargain the cartels got all the press. Fact: Mexicans don’t DO dope, they SELL dope because AMERICANS BUY dope! Write that down. There’s gonna be a quiz later. The most God-hating, sexually confused, lying, stealing country since The Roman Empire is butted up against a Catholic nation full of people who know a fool when they see one. (That would be us.)

Boy! That hurt, didn’t it? I mean, not as bad as sitting on a bicycle without no seat, but right on up there in the top five! There’s all these Mexicans over there looking across that wall that any little Mexican girl can get across at the land of the free, home of the brave with a pimp roll of cash in its pocket and its constitution stuck up its ass! God Bless America! 

And right now there are all those Woke, perverted experts, addicted to “The View” picking apart my assessment of the situation THEY created! Well view THIS! And enter that previously mentioned real estate broker telling us that if we don’t straighten up and fly right “Putin” might be the next president! Hell, Ali Babba is already the mayor of New York and they’re still finding bones at ground zero. Do I have to tell you people everything?

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a ruler took stock of his kingdom. And he wrote on some wall, “In my land a lady can walk safely, unharmed anywhere she desires, and arrive!” Anywhere in our kingdom I challenge you to let your daughter walk to the store for a Coke, come back and share the results for us. And don’t give me those reports from the Mayor of DC. I already have a copy of the Karma Sutra. Beam me up Scotty!