Queer as Folk
If you are going to tell a lie tell a big one. And if you tell it often enough it will become the truth.
That came from the Prophet, Adolf Hitler, and above all else, that is the truth! Have you ever eaten something that you didn’t like, or at least was unimpressive? Then, at some party somewhere you sampled it from a tray and thought, “Hey! That’s not so bad!” Ladies and gentlemen, I give you LBGTQ and sometimes A!
What used to be laughing at Paul Lynn became a daily course of perversion. And nobody wants to say it out loud but there’s a reason God paused from running the universe and dropped a fifty megaton bomb on Sodom.
The very word, “Gay” has been bastardized. When I was a lad we had phrases like, “The Gay 90s.” Gay Pariee was a wonderful place to vacation and “Light and Gay” meant “In a good mood.” It was way down yonder and around the corner from marching in the streets, announcing you are a Rump Ranger!”
Look, all men have problems with women. That’s why God put them here. They differ from men in practically every way but “Vive la Différence! They got this one little thing, and the littler, the better! There are some men who don’t relate. In former days they formed clubs and were called, “Confirmed bachelors.” And they wrote classic books, debated and drank a lot of Scotch.
But there were always “those guys!” You know. Old Uncle Henry that wore this little black cape, and recited poetry. The grandfather that all the little girls just loved. The family member who retired from the Navy and just never did get married. They’ve always been there.” Other men were just too busy chasing tail to worry about them.
Then everyone had to be created equal. God! Of all the phrases in our legalese, I wish that phrase had never been penned. Ok! All men may have been created equal but women were created more equal than men. Write that down. There’ll be a quiz at the end of this lecture.
The very reason men held women down for the entire range of human existence was because of that little difference. The hand that rocked the cradle rocked the bedroom and even though men were given larger brains, they don’t use them, differing to the smaller head instead! And that is the crotch of the matter!
Oh, there are married couples who succeed in getting through life together because men get tired from working all their lives supporting what’s being rocked in the cradle. And men have the decency to die early leaving wise old matriarchs to make families go to them for wisdom. But these marriages are rare and the divorce rate keeps climbing higher and higher.
So God invented “The Girlfriend!” The perfect woman. Until around the age of twenty-nine. The fruit tastes best when it’s fresh, but you have to wait for it to ripen because eating unripened fruit will give you diarrhea for twenty years to life. And at any age they can still fill a cradle and somebody’s gotta pay for it.
Women have so much of an advantage that those men that we started talking about in the first of this article want to be women. They claim that an outie is an innie and then, because we’re so “equal,” claim that a Y can “transform into an X, and somehow come up with an XYX combination which Noah did not allow on the Ark. Yet here they are!
And talk about the tail wagging the dog? As usual, women, the original issue, flock to these creatures like they all fit in. Uncle Henry became the life of the party. Men were no longer men, and if they were they didn’t tell anybody because now we have laws. Any semblance of normal reaction between X’s and Y’s is frowned upon and the sheep are getting nervous!
And I know you’re waiting for my answer to this problem. I don’t have one. Refer to paragraph one. If you can make a one hole out of a two hole I can’t help you. All we can hope for is the second coming and pray the gays aren’t blowing the trumpets?
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