The Bertha Butt Boogie

 

 Rev Wibur Witt

Looking at a woman lustfully, a phrase originating from Matthew 5:28 in the Christian Bible, describes a conscious decision to gaze at a woman with the intent for sexual arousal and personal desire, treating her as an object rather than a person. It implies a deliberate turning of one's gaze to foster impure thoughts and is considered a sin because the intent is to covet or objectify another person, not just a fleeting attraction. 

This passage puts off a lot of people who reason that it is thought control of some sort. They think that just looking at a woman is sin? How Muslim is that? Jesus makes several references to this type of mindset. He calls the eyes the window of the soul. In another passage he admonishes us to pluck out our eye if it leads us to sin. Look at that for a moment. Do you really believe that Jesus was advocating tearing your eye out for looking at a girl? No! He was telling us that that prolonged gaze will lead you to greater things.

Ted Bundy, the most notorious serial killer in history, the night before his execution told on his final interview that pornography had set him on the path that ultimately led to the electric chair awaiting him the next morning. How can that be possible? How can a little skin lead to sin! It’s quite simple, actually. Just remove the “K.”

The human brain is a marvelous thing. Physically it’s about three pounds of fatty meat. Doctors have mapped which parts control what while psychologists continue to try to understand why that control is there. This is because there is an unseen component to the brain. The mind! What takes the electrical surges and makes your tongue form words is led by the mind telling you what words.

Sigmund Freud divided the human condition as containing three parts. The Id, The Ego, and the Super Ego. Theologians describe them as The Flesh, the Soul, and the Spirit. It is the same. The pot calling the kettle black.

At the bottom of the chain is the Id/Flesh. Consider this for a moment. Let’s go back to the Garden of Eden. It doesn’t matter if you believe or not, work with me on this. As the story goes Eve was having a conversation with a snake about the price of apples, I believe. And she was telling the snake that she wasn’t allowed to eat apples because God said that apples were bad for the digestion. Now in my opinion she’s already had some mushrooms because she was talking to a snake, but don’t worry about that right now. Them old Jews that gave you that tale were a bit more on the ball than you think.

Let’s take a closer look at the brain. The oldest, most basic part of the brain is in the back, just above your neck. The stem. The root. The control of things basic. Eat, breathe, desire, talk to snakes. You know, things like that. Among researchers it’s known as the reptilian part of the brain. Everything else is an addition. So there’s this cute, naked blonde staring at this big beautiful apple and considering all possibilities. Eat, or don’t eat. The longer she stares the bigger the apple gets. And before she knows it she’s pregnant! I mean if you’re gonna eat apples make apple pie, right?

That is just a sample of what’s between the lines in your old King James! This design is for a reason. The way it’s supposed to work is Grog sees a deer. Grog feels hunger (reptilian.) Grog picks up rock, parietal lobe. Grog aims and throws rock. Temporal lobe. Grog takes meat back to cave. Frontal lobe. Grog gives Grogella some of the meat. More frontal lobe. Grogella eats meat and takes off deer skin coat. Grog reverts back to brain stem upon seeing Grogella sans deer skin and becomes an (Id)iot.

Every component in Grog’s Day still plays out every day in every human life. From seeing that deer to the final result is pre-programmed into the shaved ape that we will be given at birth with no restraints. That’s why Jesus told us that if you stare at that deer long enough you will throw that rock, and you might as well eat because that’s what you planned to do anyway. The damage comes from the perception. The act is just the icing on the cake. Be it the Serengeti or a cocktail party the deer skin remains the same.

Now, bring this forward to the present day. You’re sitting there scrolling through Threads and a picture of a girl pops up. Little too young so you keep scrolling, looking for a news article or perhaps some insightful analysis by some neurologist on the effects of microplastics in food. But of course, you are. A few more pictures come up. Always the same. Girls dancing. That “come hither” look in their eye. And by and by you linger just a little bit too long. After all, it’s just pictures, right? Pretty soon that snake in the back of your head starts to rattle and you consider that apple. Then you notice a girl at the supermarket. And the picture becomes a reality. And by the time it’s all over Chris Hansen is asking you, “What are you doing here, Grog?”

Now there are many factors between Grog and Ted Bundy but watch a few episodes of  “To Catch a Predator.” And observe the faces of the men as the scales fall from their eyes and they hear that snake laughing in their face. Not all of them are lying when they say they’ve never done anything like this before. That’s the point the forebrain seizes control but by that time it’s too late.

We are programmed to get that deer meat back to the cave. Grogella is programmed to reward Grog for the meal. If not for this we would not be fruitful and multiply, which is the purpose of all life; make little Grogs! But we have to keep the eyes on the prize. The prize! Not all the prizes. Not someone else’s prize, and not an apple that’s not yet ripe. That’s forbidden fruit and while all cultures may define it differently, they do define it!

But, without the prize why would you take meat back to the cave in the first place? She’s as smart as a man, get her own meat. No! Grogella’s job is to cook, clean, and make little Grogs. She can never be Grog and he can never be Grogella no matter how many rainbows he’s seen. And over thousands of years man has devised rules to direct himself to navigate whatever culture he finds himself dealing with. Some things are deemed unacceptable. Sometimes these things may be grudgingly tolerated but benevolence can only go so far.

This is what Jesus was talking about. The solution? Don’t partake in any practice that will trigger that snake. It’s always there. We all have it. The shaved ape connects dots. When there aren’t enough dots he’ll make up some dots to complete the circle. All part of the desire package. And if you consider that apple long enough you will eat it. Then you will wish that you had plucked that eye out.

Now, one last thing. Do you see how complex this is? Are you beginning to understand the metaphors and hidden meanings in the Bible? The writers didn’t have the language or understanding we have but they understood right and wrong, and they tried to explain as best they could. That’s called inspiration and that’s what Jesus was trying to explain to you. The Garden was always there. You could have seen it had you only looked!