SNAP Goes the Weasel

 



 Rev Wilbur Witt

There is no reason under God’s green earth that any child in these here DisUnited States should go to bed tonight without a sandwich! I like to see fat people breaking into a Walmart to steal an X-Box and get tased as much as the next guy but even Putin can feed his kids. The Cartels can feed their kids. Those wild men on that island just off India can feed their kids. Now they feed them white folks who just happened to drop by, but they can feed ‘em! We can’t!

Why? Because a bunch of Rich Men north of Richmond can’t approve a budget to distribute the money they stole from us! THAT’S why! Hey, try this. Now Trump ventured today that maybe we might need to loosen up on the SNAP just a little for the most needy of the huddled masses yearning to be fed. Only problem being the just can’t figure out how to write the check! Entitled Crackers PLEASE!

So, here’s one solution. Do you know what wasn’t shut off during the government shutdown? Congressmen’s pay! Yeah! They stopped feeding Yogi and Boo in Jellystone National Park but the Honorable Congressman with a season ticket to Epstein Island still in his pocket didn’t miss a truffle. Nice work if you can get it. Now, loosen up on SNAP a little? Let’s see. If you take the population of America, about 340 million, not counting Mexicans, and divide it by SNAP FOLKS, around 42 million, let’s work this; naught from naught equals about 12% of the Great Experiment can’t feed themselves. Son of a 👧! Imagine that! Not all of them are those big ol’ gals grabbing folk’s groceries right now down at your local Walmart. A percentage are the kids. So therefore, take them there congressional salaries and put that money into feeding those kids. It all pretty much equals out. Now, I’m gonna prophesy here!! I conferred with the Lord, and He told me if you take one French Fry off of one congressional plate that you will have a budget by this afternoon. And don’t worry about all them illegal aliens on SNAP. They’re Mexicans! They will find work. Trust me! Problem solved. Go back to confusing your genders.  Can I have an Amen? Now, give that kid a sandwich. I oughta be the President!




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