Your 2.5 Billion Heartbeats

 

 

You can worry yourself to death. People do it every day. Oh, it’s not immediate. An extra heartbeat here, another there; listen, God gives the average Homosapien about 2.5 billion heartbeats when they are born. Allowing for unforeseen circumstances that means you have about 75 years in the life bank. Now, if you have a calm, collected life you wear out and die in bed at an old age while your family stands around worried about who gets the house. But! Things happen. That ex-wife and all that child support. The girlfriend that made her an ex-wife. All the colds and flu that came your way, but the big debit to the heartbeat bank is stress. That little old can’t stop thinking about it thing that we all have and every time you have that you use up some of those beats better off for that girlfriend.

Even exercise. You join a gym. You go down there and do cardio. Work up a good sweat and feel real good about yourself. Ten steps closer to the embalming table. Now, nobody freezes in place. You hide from life, get your seventy sum-odd years and check out without ever having lived. So what to do?

Stress! Worrying about things that may never happen. Pondering over the future that you have absolutely no control over. Trying to shape other people’s choices while they’re burning their way down to Hell’s Kitchen themselves. Even, now get this, worrying about what some other nincompoop thinks about you! That is a major source of stress. Look at all the videos out there about techniques to attract women. Interesting note: How many videos have you ever seen telling women how to attract men? Don’t you wanna know why? Because women are born with half the money and all the attraction. Their stress factor is lower than a man’s. That’s why they live longer. Do I have to tell you people everything?

And the female equation dominates the male psyche. All religions started with how to dominate women. It took the Devil to convince Eve to eat that apple. She just took off her fig leaf and Adam chomped away. The weaker sex my arse! And who am I? Six marriages and still dreaming on. Hand me that slice of apple pie!

And it all boils down to stress. You will never eliminate all the stress in your life. Just don’t let it stress you. When you catch yourself obsessing think about something else. There is no multifunctional ability anywhere in the human condition. When you think you are multifunctional, you’re just skipping around artfully. So, when you find yourself hanging a bit too long on some Facebook post just Google Jeffery Epstein’s list and look for your name.

Even if you don’t add years to your life the ones you have will be a bit more pleasant. And don’t count your mistakes! Just don’t tell her your real name. Always remember Jesus told us Just take care of today because tomorrow will surely take care of you! Or words to that effect.