The Carrot

 


Rev Wilbur Witt


You are being manipulated by a billion-dollar industry designed to warp your mind, pimp your daughters and sell you useless drugs to cure imaginary conditions devised to put you in the ground ten years early. This conglomerate is owned by an exclusive club of soulless imbeciles who got lucky and sold you half-baked products that would have got them tarred and feathered in times gone by and knowing you can’t read with any kind of comprehension reduces informative political theory to words like MAGA, ANTIFA, and Gay. And you will hate, and lie, and kill based on whichever flavor of popsicle you are sucking at the time.

Is there anything I missed? The death of Charlie Kirk was a barometer of the human condition in America today. We have all been divided into categories according to the induced beliefs of a small subset of the population bent on consolidating all power in their corner and damn the torpedoes, truth, justice, or the American way you are going to buy their six pack and you’d better say, “Mmmmm Mmmmmm GOOD!” or the man’ll come and take you away. And all you’re trying to do is get laid without getting spayed. God Bless America!

No two snowflakes are alike. There are 340.1 million of you dumb-asses out there not counting wetbacks and other “guests” and no two of you can agree on what to order at a McDonald’s drive through. Change my mind!

So why did Charlie get shot? Because MSNBC said so! And why is there a current resurgence of the KKK? Because Fox News said we need it. And why do I hate you and you hate me? Because you don’t smoke the same cigarettes as me. That political sign in your neighbor’s yard pisses you off. And that’s literally all you know about your neighbor. He’s voting like that because his father and his father before him voted like that. If you asked him what the Democrat platform is he might say, “Redwood!” He was pro-choice until his daughter became pregnant with his first grandchild and then became pro-choice again upon finding that the father might be black. Yeah! Might be. The DNA ain’t in on that one because his daughter was a sexually confused honor graduate of The University of Texas.

We all agree and disagree. Look at Charlie and his killer. They disagreed on a lot of things but they both agreed on the right to keep and bear arms. And his widow vowed to keep the movement alive. I admire her but I admire history more. What was Julius Caesar’s political views? You don’t know, do you? Somebody stuck a knife up his ass and Rome went into civil war with all the rich folks trying to grab all the scraps. JFK? Great man. What was his view on gay marriage? You think you know but do you really. I mean we know what his view on Marilyn Monroe was. Back and to the left.

These conglomerates I mentioned earlier have spent a long time formulating those carrots before your eyes and it’s gonna take a long time to get past them. Don’t group people into brands. Disagree, yes, but learn to walk away. What would happen if we threw a riot and nobody came? Look where we are! Freedom of speech? Screw that. That’ll get you shot! Love who you wish? Oooops! Better be in a missionary position (apologies to the Mormon missionaries) and better not be on a Sunday, Saturday if you’re Jewish. Only thing I can say for sure is Charlie’s assassin will learn about capital punishment and gun rights because he most likely will get tied to a secretarial chair in some warehouse and his blood will most certainly touch the ground. . . because they love him!





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